Defensive Daddy: A Bad Boy Hockey Romance Read online

  We walked together in silence, a comfortable silence, taking in the natural beauty around us as we drank the most delicious coffee in the entire city.

  “Thank you.”

  Cooper stopped, looking at me squarely. “For what?” His eyes had a glint to them, and the only other time I’d seen that look was from Ethan.

  A long, long time ago.

  My palms were instantly clammy in response, and I failed to find the words to speak.

  He smiled, almost proudly, it seemed, like he was aware he made me speechless just by pinning me with his gaze.

  “For the coffee,” I finally explained. “And for watching Levi for me the other day.” My body shivered, the warmth of the coffee long worn off now that we’d finished them.

  “You don’t need to thank me for either of those things. I told you to come out tonight, and I offered to watch him because I wanted to.” Cooper wriggled out of his coat.

  “But why?” I asked as he stepped closer to me, closing the space between us and wrapping his thick coat around my shoulders. The heat from his body clung to it, sending chills down my spine but warming me at the same time.

  “Because there’s just something about you, Samantha.” Cooper placed his index finger beneath my chin, gently tilting it up as he lowered his lips to mine without hesitation, stealing away every ounce of oxygen in my lungs. “Let’s go get you warmed up.”

  Cooper wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we quickly made our way back to his truck. Once we both got in, he started it up and turned the heater on high.

  Something had taken over me, and I had no idea what it was. The sudden urge to kiss him overpowered every bit of nervous energy and uncertainty I had. I scooted closer to him in the seat and cupped my hands on his chilled cheeks without thinking, pressing my lips against his. A smile stretched across his lips, and I pulled back. “What?”

  “Nothing.” He chuckled, slowly pushing the coat from my shoulders.

  “No, tell me why you were starting to laugh.”

  “I wasn’t.” He laughed harder, a contagious sound that I got caught up in. “Now, where were we?”

  Cooper smiled mischievously and took control, pressing my back gently against the passenger door. His lips found mine once more as he pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and gave a low growl, sending a spark of electricity through my core and making my center ache with desire. Caught in a frenzy of heated kisses, his hands gripped my waist, maneuvering me down so I lay on the seat, his body between my legs.

  His mouth dominated mine, devouring me as though starving for the taste of me. I wasn’t sure anything had ever consumed me so completely as the way he kissed me did.

  What am I doing? What are we doing? This can’t be happening.

  Cooper’s hand gently grazed my stomach as he pushed my sweater out of the way. I gulped, that being the one thing I was most self-conscious about since having Levi. He trailed his face down my throat, across my covered breasts and down to my abdomen, pressing a soft kiss to my right hip bone. Goosebumps raised on my arms and legs, and the ache between my thighs grew stronger.

  I swallowed hard, trying to keep my nervousness hidden. Cooper left a trail of kisses and soft nibbles along my waistline and stopped, but only for a moment. I knew what had caught his attention; the orchid tattoo on my left hip bone.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, my voice shaky with apprehension.

  Fuck. I’ve just ruined the moment, and I don’t know even know if I’m relieved about it, or disappointed.

  But his gaze was animalistic, like a mountain lion staring hungrily at its prey.

  “I could taste you...” He softly growled it out as though it were a promise, unbuttoning my jeans while he spoke. He kissed my skin affectionately, and I couldn’t help it, unable to stop myself from yanking nervously at my shirt, pulling it down to cover up the stretch mark his lips had landed upon.

  He must have noticed. “Stop,” he breathed against me. “You’re beautiful, Samantha. All of you. You don’t need to hide anything from me. You’re beautiful.” He slid my sweater up further and planted kiss after kiss across my stomach, slowly tugging down my jeans and panties, almost exposing me as he kissed right there on my sensitive skin, merely a breath away from my core.

  I can’t do this. I shouldn’t. He can’t...no. No, we can’t.

  “Stop. Please, stop.” I yanked at my jeans quickly, struggling to sit up. My hands were shaking and guilt flooded through my veins as I tugged my clothes back into place.

  I’d never been with anyone but Ethan. And I just...couldn’t do this with Cooper. He’d watched my son, he was my neighbor, and he was becoming a friend. I didn’t want to ruin that. “I’m sorry, Cooper, I can’t. I want to, but I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

  Concern flooded his face as he sat up next to me, reaching his hand out to my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Samantha. I didn’t—”

  “No, it’s okay. Really. I just can’t...we can’t do that. I think it’s time to go home now.” I cut him off, holding back tears.

  “I understand,” he assured me, but it didn’t sound like he did. “I’m really sorry,” he added, leaning closer to me to press a soft kiss to my temple.

  He had no reason to be sorry. I did.

  I wanted it, wanted him. Oh God, did I want him.

  But, I just couldn’t. Yet, here I was, still aching for him and wishing I’d given in.

  It’d been the right choice, though...right? To stop. To block the road we’d been heading down before it ended in disaster.

  It was the right choice, I told myself. Now, I just wished I wholeheartedly believed it.

  CHAPTER SIX

  COOPER

  It’d been the last thing I thought of when I went to sleep last night, and the first thing to cross my mind when I awoke.

  I’m sorry, Cooper, I can’t. I want to, but I just can’t. I’m sorry.

  I’d kissed her, put my hands on her, knowing damn well each second of it could easily be pushing her closer to the edge.

  Pushing her away from me, instead of closer.

  But I did it, anyway. My mind had become completely engulfed by the flood of primal needs and desires that had capsized the rational part of my brain, and I couldn’t focus on anything but the taste of her against my tongue and the electricity of her skin under my fingertips. There’d been no room left to contemplate anything else beyond that. I’d wanted her more than anything else.

  And, because of it, I’d lost her, pushed her over the edge, made her shut down.

  I can’t. I’m sorry.

  No, I was the one who was sorry. Samantha was vulnerable. She told me what that asshole of an ex-fiancé had put her through, and yet I’d still been thinking with the wrong head, fully engrossed in my own needs when I should have been thinking of hers.

  I hated that I sat here now, sipping my coffee at my kitchen table, staring aimlessly at the wall that separated our apartments, wishing I knew whether her eyes flitted to that wall, too. Did I cross her mind the way she was taking over mine?

  I had a feeling that, right now, if I was lucky enough to be in her thoughts, Samantha Webb was thinking about what an overbearing jerk I’d been last night.

  For that, I had no one to blame but myself.

  That meant there was only one thing to do about it.

  Fix it.

  And since I’d fucked the whole situation up on my own, it was up to me to repair it—or try to—before Samantha’s negative thoughts about me became rooted within her pretty little head, too deep and too solid to be changed.

  As someone who ached for that first taste of coffee in the morning, enjoying the quietness that accompanied the slow, steady rising of the sun through the slats of the window blinds, it disheartened me that I couldn’t seem to enjoy the jolt of caffeine into my bloodstream this morning. It tasted bitter, and I derived little satisfaction from it. Coupled with the tension in my shoulders and the muddled mess of my thoughts, I knew I wasn’t going
to be able to get past the way Samantha and I’s night had ended until I faced her and apologized, gazing into her alluring blue eyes to make sure she understood how sincere I was about it.

  She deserved that much from me. A text or phone call wasn’t going to cut it.

  I needed her to know I was truly sorry for making her uncomfortable, and that I’d do whatever I needed to make this better. My heart ached to apologize and ease her mind. That was the only way I’d ease my own.

  Samantha, it seemed, had taken over more than my mind and body. She was affecting my heart as well.

  ***

  With a bouquet of pink and white orchids mirroring the tattoo etched on her hip, and the biggest bar of milk chocolate I could find, I made the trek down the hallway to her apartment.

  I didn’t know what would happen with my apology. I could knock on her door and she might very well ignore me, forcing me to leave the flowers and chocolate on the floor outside her door.

  I’m not sure how long I stood there outside her door, but it was long enough to realize that I was, in fact, desperate to deliver the apology I felt she deserved. There wasn’t much I wouldn’t do to make sure Samantha knew she meant more to me than a heated, misguided moment in the cab of my truck.

  I let out a breath, then knocked on the door. The seconds ticked by painstakingly slow, making the stretch of silence on the other side of that door seem to go on for eternity. I was still straining to hear something—anything—to prove she or Levi was there, when the door opened part way, revealing Samantha, her auburn hair piled high on her head, donning a simple black long-sleeved shirt and yoga pants.

  Jesus, weekend Samantha was even hotter than all-business, weekday Samantha. “Hey,” I managed to get out. Somehow, I’d reverted to the mental capability of a hormone-ridden teenage boy...again. Her natural beauty astounded me.

  She took me in, her expression blank as her gaze dropped to the flowers and chocolate in my hands. “Hey, yourself.”

  Damn it, I couldn’t read her. But the fact my mind was caught somewhere between her intense eyes and the soft lips that I could still taste wasn’t helping matters. “I wanted to...I mean, I didn’t want...”

  Son of a bitch. All the words I’d rehearsed evaded me. “These are for you,” I stated simply, lifting the bouquet and chocolate out for her.

  I saw her shoulders lower slightly as she took the flowers from me. “They’re beautiful.” She raised her questioning gaze to mine. “Thank you. But I do have to ask, why?”

  Because those flowers don’t begin to compare to how beautiful you are, and because you’re the most intriguing woman I’ve ever met. “Because I wanted to say I’m sorry,” I replied, sheepish. “About last night. I shouldn’t—”

  “You’re sorry?” she blurted out, incredulous. “No, Cooper, I’m the one who’s sorry. I gave you the wrong idea about—”

  “I pushed everything too far, and I—”

  Samantha stepped forward, pressing her index finger gently to my lips to silence me. “Shh, stop,” she instructed, the corner of her mouth curved upward. When she spoke again, it was in a hushed voice. “You did nothing wrong. What I’m saying is that I gave you the wrong idea, making you think I didn’t want to.”

  She paused, giving me a moment to let that sink in. I was so dumbstruck by the heat of her fingertip on my lips and the sultry confession on her tongue that I couldn’t move.

  “I did want you, then, Cooper,” she continued, a deep blush creeping into her cheeks as she spoke. “And I still want you now.” The slight curve of her mouth transformed into a full grin for a moment. “But I panicked. I just...wasn’t expecting it. I wasn’t expecting you. Or us, for that matter.”

  I kissed her fingertip and brought my free hand up to pull her hand into mine. “That makes two of us, believe me.”

  A small sigh escaped her lips as I kissed her finger, squeezing her hand in mine gently. She suddenly looked weaker, though her eyes shone brighter, and I felt a pang of satisfaction at knowing my touch was the cause of it. “I think we just need to take this slow,” she breathed, her eyes never leaving my thumb as I rubbed it across her knuckles. “I don’t want to ruin this before it even begins.”

  I couldn’t help myself. I leaned forward and kissed her mouth, gently at first, giving her time to pull away. Samantha’s hands came up between us, but only to rest against my chest, fisting my t-shirt in her palms. Which only made me kiss her harder and more feverishly.

  I pulled away first, which said something about my restraint seeing as the only thing I wanted to do was devour this woman. My mouth remained dangerously close to hers, and I offered her a little smirk. “I’d hate to break it to you, but this, you and me, has definitely already begun.”

  “I think you might be right.” Samantha sounded hoarse, and her chest heaved with each word.

  “I am,” I assured her, leaving no room for discussion. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t have all the time in the world, Samantha.” I ran my thumb across her bottom lip, relishing in the sexy little whimper that came from her as I did it. “I don’t ever want you to feel pressured or rushed when it comes to us. In any aspect. I need you to know that, and that’s why I came over here.”

  “Not to kiss me like your life depended on it?”

  “That was purely icing on the cake.” I grinned, giving her one more quick peck before taking a step back. “So, we’re okay?”

  “More than okay,” she nodded, lifting the bouquet in her hand again to look them over.

  “Good.” I reached out and touched the tip of her nose playfully. “Now, go enjoy that chocolate you love so much, and get those orchids into some water. I’ll call you later to confirm what days you need me to stay with Levi.”

  “You’re leaving?”

  My hand was on the doorframe, ready to push myself back toward my own apartment. “I have to,” I said with a mischievous smile. “I’ve got to meet Zoey—that’s my ex’s name, by the way—to take Tommy to a pediatrician appointment. Besides...” I took another step back. “I know I said you can take all the time you need, and I do mean that. But that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy on me. And the way we just kissed, combined with how absolutely gorgeous you look right now, I can barely handle it.”

  She laughed at me. “You’re not serious.”

  “Oh, believe me, I am,” I assured her. “You wouldn’t believe how jealous I am of that bar of chocolate right now.” I leaned forward, enjoying the heat I could see flushing her cheeks. “And that’s really hard for a guy who prefers peanut butter cups to admit,” I whispered, as though it was the biggest secret in the world. “So, that’s saying something.” I winked at her. “I’ll call you after Levi is in bed.”

  I could feel Samantha’s gaze on me as I left her standing in the doorway, staring after me. And if the longing look in her eyes was any indication, I had a funny feeling that Levi’s bedtime might be a little earlier tonight than usual.

  ***

  It wasn’t fair, and I only had myself to blame. I’d had to make that godforsaken wisecrack about being jealous of that fucking bar of chocolate, and my mind couldn’t seem to get beyond the mental image of her lips and tongue as she indulged in her sinful treat. Paired with my own body’s memory of the heat and desire when I’d kissed her, I was having a hard time concentrating on anything else other than my overt awareness of there being only a wall between her and I.

  I don’t know how many times I checked my phone for missed texts or calls throughout the day before Samantha’s number finally came up on my screen, but it was enough that my desperation to see her was definitely showing. I’d made it through the pediatrician appointment, and even managed to steal a bit of time alone with my little boy while Zoey went into the grocery store and I stayed in the truck with him while we waited. It was fun, having Tommy all to myself, not having Zoey’s looming gaze fixed on me, wondering if I’m doing things right or paying enough attention.

  But Samantha was never far
from my mind.

  Now, I stared at her words on the screen as though I could hear them falling from her lips.

  Call me when you have time, to chat about Levi. I’ll be up for a while.

  “You and me both,” I whispered to no one in particular as I tapped out my reply.

  Up for company instead of a phone call?

  To hell with dancing around the subject. She either wanted me there, or she didn’t. But I was going to let her decide, not my pride. I wasn’t too proud to beg, either.

  Her response was instantaneous.

  Come over, but don’t knock. Levi is asleep. I’m in the laundry room.

  I didn’t even bother to try to hide my eagerness, and I slipped down the hallway in my sock-covered feet without a sound. Silence surrounded me, and the absence of voices or other neighbors’ televisions carrying through the air gave my trek a secretive, clandestine feel to it.

  The door didn’t even squeak as I let myself into Samantha’s apartment, and I instinctively locked the door behind me. Levi’s bedroom door was closed at the end of the hall, but the urge to check on his sleeping form tugged at me, anyway. That urge wasn’t quite as relentless as the need to set my sights on Samantha, though, so I ducked into the little room off the kitchen, announcing my arrival with a soft knock.

  “Hey,” I whispered loudly over the sound of the dryer. “You really need to lock that front door, even if you’re—”

  My words were lost as she turned around and looked at me. Dressed only in plaid pajama shorts and a fitted black t-shirt, she was the picture of comfort and natural beauty. Her eyes, however, were a different kind of vision, and spoke to me louder than the rumbling of the washing machine she’d just started. They shone with a fiery heat, barely contained, as she stood completely still and took me in, her gaze lowering and then raising to meet mine.

  The air between us crackled with electricity, and I swallowed as she bit down on her bottom lip.

  Then, “Cooper...”

  My name was said on a sigh. It was a plea, a wish, or maybe a promise. I couldn’t tell which.